Me and My Boyfriends
by RidgelessRidgeback
Summary: Kurt and Blaine invest in the help of Sam and Dave to liven up their love lives. This story is really Kurt/Blaine/Sam/Dave, all combinations, but Klaine is the main pairing. It's going to get very Mature and pretty dramatic. Chapter 1: Klaine, Kublam


_Author's note: This fanfic is blatant Kurt/Blaine/Sam/Karofsky porn. Yes, all of them. All together. I know I usually write Klaine, and I'm not stopping anytime soon. But I started thinking can't we have a nice place where everyone gets along? :) Then I began figuring out how this would be remotely feasible. And now you have sex. So if you're not prepared for a lot of loosely plausible sex, I'm giving fair warning now. One more warning, its mostly butterflies and rainbows now, but not everyone's always going to get along, because after all, sex matters..._

_I do plan for it to be open to sequels. The next chapter is planned but there's plenty of room for extra scenarios. So if you have a preference, tumblr asks and reviews are welcome places for suggestions. Or not, your choice :)_

_In this chapter: Klaine, Kublam_

* * *

><p>"<strong>Me and My Boyfriends: Not Long Ago"<strong>

Blaine was almost the ideal boyfriend, but he did possess a few traits that were starting to get on Kurt's nerves.

For example, his face was a shining beacon of emotion, broadcasting his thoughts clearly to anyone tuning in. Right now, he was staring off into space, wide-eyed, mouth slightly parted. Clearly checking someone out, which would had been cute if he was looking at Kurt. And appropriate, since they were sitting in a booth together at Breadstix, mid-date.

But hey. They had been in a stable relationship for three whole weeks now. Kurt wasn't going to be one of those jealous, bitchy boyfriends. He was totally secure in himself, and if Blaine wanted to look, well, why couldn't he? Kurt spared a glance over his shoulder to see what the fuss was about.

At least Blaine had good taste. The boy's blond bangs fell in his face messily and his snug shirt accentuated his muscular arms and great shoulders. Kurt wasn't so sure about the book he was reading, which appeared to have robots and explosions on the cover. But other than that, he looked good. Kurt could admit that. Admit that, and voice his complaints in a civilized manner.

"Earth to Blaine." Kurt snapped in front of his face, startling him. "You're supposed to be wooing me, remember? Stop ogling Sam Evans."

"But he's reading a Halo novel and wearing a Quidditch shirt!" Blaine said. "You don't see a guy like that every day. Sam, is it?"

Halo and Quid what? Whatever. "Yeah. He's in New Directions. Haven't you met him already?"

Blaine's eyes were straying back to Sam. "I must not have really noticed him before." He leaned in to Kurt. "So is he gay?"

Kurt whispered back. "Not sure. We had a couple moments before I transferred to Dalton, but he's been one of the more popular trophies among our Glee girls."

"Moments?" Blaine's mouth shifted into a pout. "Anything I should know about?"

Kurt nervously intertwined his fingers. "Just one of my many delusional crushes." In reality, Kurt was pretty certain that something had happened in the locker room, but there was no point bringing that up now. And that would have been the end of it, if only Blaine hadn't acted on one of his other character flaws: overabundant friendliness.

"He's all alone for dinner, Kurt. Let's invite him to eat with us!"

* * *

><p>The boys squished themselves into one side of the booth then whistled to Sam. He smiled once he recognized Kurt, and with some help from the waitress managed to get his food and things over to their table.<p>

"Don't get to see you very often." Kurt said, shaking his hand across the table.

"Yeah, nice running into you." He shook Blaine's hand as well. "Hey. I'm Sam."

"I'm Blaine and I love your shirt."

Sam's eyes lit up. "Really? Awesome!" Sam looked down at his food suddenly, feeling embarrassed at his enthusiasm. "I mean. From what I'd heard, I didn't think Kurt's boyfriend would be a Harry Potter fan."

Blaine bumped his shoulder against Kurt's. "You tell people about me?" he teased.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Like I'm not going to brag about arm candy like you."

"Also, I saw you necking earlier," Sam admitted.

"Ah. Yeah, we do that." Blaine picked up the breadstick basket. "Anyone up for refills?"

Sam smiled. "Sure, I got nowhere else to be."

"So what's a cool guy like you doing eating alone?" Kurt said. "Do you need someone to talk to?"

Sam looked at the two of them, twin expressions of concern on their faces. He knew Kurt had been through some tough times, and he felt bad whining about his own problems. But the truth was, life was sucking right now. After Quinn left him, he thought at least Santana would be up for casual fun to get his mind off the pain. But that sex ed class must have been really effective. Ever since then, Santana barely looked at him, much less kissed him.

Maybe it was stupid to be so caught up in his love life, but what else was there? He was still the new guy at school. None of the guys really bonded with him; they weren't into the nerdy stuff he really liked. He couldn't even find someone to come to Breadstix with him. It was just sad.

"Earth to Sam," Kurt called out, waving a hand in his face.

"Sorry." Sam's eyes briefly focusing on their intertwined hands on the table. He couldn't help but wonder what that would be like. To be so close to another person that you couldn't stop yourself from touching them in some way, even in public.

"It's girl trouble," Sam said. "I'm dating Santana, but she's kind of cut off our physical contact and I don't know why."

Kurt sucked on his straw, fixing him in a sympathetic stare. "It's because she's a bitch, Sam. You could do so much better."

He shook his head. "Actually, I can't. I guess I have low self-esteem or something. I just can't figure out why girls don't want to make out with me, and I have no idea what to do with all this horniness I have pent up."

Blaine's fork clattered to the ground as he fumbled with it. "Sorry," he said. "Please, tell us more."

Sam looked back and forth between them. "Um, can I ask a personal question? Do you guys have sex?"

They laughed a little nervously, glancing about the room.

"No, no," Kurt said, his face flushing. "I mean- not yet. My father, he'd be disappointed I think. I'm just not ready."

"Oh." Sam's mouth curled. "But do you at least... do you get _off_?"

Blaine snorted. "Uh, yes."

"How often?" Sam asked, scandalized into a whisper.

"About once a day. Twice after shopping."

"He gets riled up over a good sale," Kurt and Blaine made eyes at each other, reminiscing.

Sam slouched back in the booth. "Man, that is awesome. Maybe I should give being gay a try. I just wish I could let off some steam, period. I think it would make me feel better you know, like somebody actually wanted me around." The new bowl of breadsticks arrived, but he was the only one who reached for them. "Why are you both staring at me like that?"

Blaine whispered something into Kurt's ear. He cleared his throat then said, "Sam, can you wait here just a moment?"

"Uh, sure."

They scampered off to the men's room. Sam was able to clean out the breadsticks before they came back. He wasn't feeling good about the smirks on their faces. What, did his sob story inspire a quickie or something?

"Sam," Blaine said. "We have a little proposition for you."

"Okay..."

"We were wondering if you'd like to experiment with us. Kurt and I think it might add a little excitement to our relationship, and if it will cheer you up, we would be glad to help out."

Sam leaned forward. "When you say experiment, we're not talking about science lab here, are we?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "I certainly hope not. We were thinking more like making out."

Sam was kind of joking about switching sides. But now that he thought about it, he couldn't think of a good reason not to.

"If this weirds you out, we don't have to," Blaine said. "It was just a thought."

"Actually, I'd like that." He smiled. "I mean, anything is worth trying once right?"

Kurt bit his lip and glanced at Blaine. "He said yes."

Blaine grinned. "I heard him."

"So, when do you want to start?" Sam asked.

"And he's eager too." Kurt pulled out his cell phone. "How about Saturday?"

"Done." Sam said. "It's a date."

* * *

><p>It didn't take much to surprise Finn. Sam showing up at his house unexpectedly was more than enough.<p>

"Hey, man." Sam brushed past him at the front door.

Finn tried to come up with reasonable explanation for this visit, but came up short. If this was supposed to be some clever ploy for Quinn, it wasn't going to work. "So, what exactly are you doing here? I didn't invite you."

"I know. Kurt did." Sam walked over to the base of the stairs, texting. Moments later Kurt's hurried footsteps descended. From Finn's vantage point, all he could see was a hand reach out and yank Sam upwards by his shirt.

What the heck was that about? Whatever, Finn thought. He was better off just going back to his room and forgetting about it. At least, that was the plan until the doorbell was ringing again.

"Blaine?" Finn said.

"Hey, man." Blaine gave him a quick hug. "Kurt in his room?"

"Yeah, he's-" It occurred to Finn, mid-sentence, that Sam and Kurt could be doing something. Something Blaine wasn't supposed to see. "I mean, he might be busy. I don't know where he is actually."

Blaine checked his phone. "No problem. He's in his room. Thanks, see you at dinner."

"Wait!" Blaine paused at the bottom of the stairs and looked back, eyebrows raised.

Subterfuge wasn't one of his strong points. Finn mumbled, rubbed his hair. Failed to make eye contact.

Blaine smiled. "It's okay, Finn. I know Sam is there. We're just watching movies." He took a step forward, then paused. "You're a good brother."

After he left, Finn stared for awhile longer. He wasn't sure why he felt embarrassed, but he was all the same.

* * *

><p>"Holy shit." Blaine fell back against the wall, watching Sam press Kurt into the bed. Sam's mouth made loud wet sounds as it collided with Kurt's face and neck. Pinned beneath him, Kurt whined and clutched the sheets. Blaine felt a throbbing in his crotch as he grew hard from the sight of them.<p>

Sam turned his face. "Should I stop? You're mad, aren't you?" His eyes flicked back to Kurt. "We should have waited for him, I knew it."

"Not mad." Blaine shook his head. "Jealous. It's... very difficult to just watch."

Kurt held his hand out. "Then don't. I'm not going to enjoy this if you're not having fun."

"I'm having fun, trust me." But Blaine took his hand and allowed himself to be pulled onto the mattress. Sam smiled at him, a little shyly.

"Hi," he said, eyes focused on Blaine's mouth.

"Hi," Blaine breathed back. He was even hotter up close.

Kurt curled against Blaine's side, nuzzling his shoulder. "Kiss each other. I want to watch."

"You're sure everyone's okay with this?" Sam asked. "Because, you know with Quinn and Finn and all of them, kissing someone else is like super out of line. Aren't you going to be upset?"

"I'm in," Kurt purred. He trailed his hand down Blaine's stomach, sliding it inside his jeans. "Looks like you are too."

Sam lunged forward, sucking on Blaine's mouth and neck. Blaine couldn't help arching his back, grinding against him. He felt so different from Kurt, who was slender and soft. Sam's body was hard all over and so much larger. Blaine was losing control, acutely aware of Kurt's hand on his cock, stroking him as Sam petted his face and hair. He reached down to Sam's crotch and rubbed the front of his pants; Sam moaned in Blaine's mouth and then they were grinding and rolling in chaos.

When he could think again a few minutes later, Blaine panicked a little. He needed to feel Kurt, to know he was there and happy. Blaine broke the kiss and and reached for Kurt's face.

"What are you doing?" Kurt said, annoyed. "Trying to tug my face off?"

"Just get here." Once in range, Blaine began kissing Kurt's face over and over.

Kurt relented, deepening the kiss. After a moment's hesitation, Sam darted in and now the three of them were kissing and petting, running their hands over each other in affectionate strokes. They toppled back onto the bed, knocking pillows to the floor. Kurt squeaked as the other two rolled on top of him awkwardly and they broke apart, gasping and smiling.

"So I don't know about anyone else," Blaine said, "but I'd like to get jacked off."

Kurt quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Hey. It's not going to take care of itself." Blaine laid back against the headrest, arms behind his head.

"You let him talk to you like that?" Sam asked.

"One of the downsides of dating a lead vocalist." Kurt began to tug Blaine's pants and boxers down. "Well? Who do you want to serve you?"

Blaine bit his lip. "Wow, I have a choice now? You should do it, Kurt. We're supposed to be helping Sam with his sexuality."

"Of course." Kurt rolled up his sleeves and took Blaine's hard member into his hands. As always, his fingers were soft and skilled. Blaine sighed, arching his back as his body responded to Kurt's touch. He was going nice and slow, teasing. Earning every sigh and grunt he could. Kurt smiled down at him, fully in control of the situation.

"Sam, reach into the drawer in that night stand for me?"

Sam did so. "Is this what you're looking for?" he asked, holding up a tube of lubricant.

"That's it, hand it here." Kurt applied it to his hands and then wrapped them once more around Blaine.

He moaned and continued enjoying himself. When he felt himself getting close, he opened his eyes looking at both of them.

"Sam, you're watching kind of intently. I think I'm getting performance anxiety."

"Did you figure out if you're gay yet, Sam?" Kurt asked. He didn't even bother to look over, focused on the task at hand.

Sam nodded slowly. "I guess so. I mean, I'm hard." He shifted his eyes over to Blaine. "You two are kind of hot."

"Thanks," Blaine said. "So are you going to be our pet, then?"

Sam grinned. "Is that what I am? A toy so you can play house?"

"Cute thought," Kurt answered. "We can be a little family." He increased the speed of his strokes, smiling as Blaine thrust his hips against his hand. Blaine's breathing became faster. "Baby."

Kurt leaned down and kissed him. "I know. Take off your shirt. Let's make a pretty little mess."

Blaine did so, then placed his hands in Kurt's hair, playing with it as Kurt stroked him faster, gaining momentum until a spike of pleasure shot through Blaine's body and he came, semen arching out and onto his chest.

In the aftermath, Kurt rubbed his arms and watched him until he was breathing normally again. Blaine kissed his hand, pressing it against his lips. It wasn't until Sam cleared his throat that they both remembered he was there.

"Sorry," Blaine smiled. "Let me go wash up and you can have a turn."

Sam leaned toward Kurt. "So. You're pretty good at that, huh?"

"I like to think so," Kurt wiped his hand on a Kleenex. "Any other questions?"

"Not really, just..." Sam leaned in. "You guys really care about each other. I didn't know that sex could be like that."

Kurt stared at him for a long moment, then patted his leg. "You just haven't been hanging out with the right people."

"I want to make you come." They stared at each other. "May I?"

Kurt's eyes widened. He called out. "Blaine? Is it okay with you if Sam jacks me off?"

They heard a loud thud, suspiciously like a head hitting a cabinet door if a person was suddenly startled.

"Sure, yeah!" The sink shut off. "But wait for me!"

* * *

><p>"Hey, Santana." Sam sat down next to her and stretched.<p>

Her eyes flickered across his body. "I see. So who was it?"

"Hmm?"

"You can't cheat a cheater, guppy face. The satisfied smirk, the languished body posture: you've gotten laid recently. And I want to know what girl is possibly hot enough for you to cheat on me."

Sam grinned. "I wasn't cheating. Just like you're not cheating with Brittany."

She was momentarily surprised, but then her face scrunched up in displeasure. "First of all, don't bring up Brittany to me. Secondly, you've been macking on dudes? Never pegged you for that type."

"I don't know what your problem is. Why should gender matter more than being with someone who treats you right?"

Her response was so low he barely heard it. What's it like, he thought she said.

"What, gay sex?" He settled back into his relaxed stretch. "Awesome. Everyone's so accepting. And cuddly."

"That's not what I meant! I- I have to fix my mascara," she snapped, stomping on his foot in her rush for the door.

Whatever, Sam thought. Kurt was right. He could do better.

* * *

><p>Blaine didn't often go places without inviting Kurt these days, but he had enough sense to visit Lima Sporting Goods alone. Kurt would have been mortified to be seen in a store full of sporting equipment and bright clashing colors. But Blaine liked the atmosphere. He'd go to price out weights (he was going to start <em>someday<em>) or just toss a football around. Sometimes he priced out the cheerleading skirts, but he hadn't quite gotten around to asking Kurt about that deviant thought yet.

On this particular afternoon, he was especially thankful that he hadn't asked Kurt to humor him. Because there was someone else browsing the football equipment aisles. Someone that Kurt wasn't keen on humoring any day of the week.

Kurt's bully.

Blaine liked to think things happened for a reason. Maybe this was an opportunity to settle things. He was aware of the strain on Kurt when they visited with his glee friends, and maybe with a little friendliness, Blaine could cut off the source of his discomfort. He took a deep breath and strode over.

"Hey there. You're a football player at McKinley aren't you? Great recent game."

The other boy looked at him, hard. Blaine didn't miss the way his hands clutched the football tighter.

"Quit the bullshit," he said. "I know who you are. You're that queer's butt buddy."

Still not a very nice guy, it seemed. But Blaine was going to be strong. For Kurt.

"Actually my name is Blaine Anderson." He stuck his hand out. "Do you have a name?"

He stared at the outreached hand. "It's Dave Karofsky. Don't even pretend you don't know me."

Blaine shrugged. "Okay. I know you."

A smug smile spread across Dave's mouth, but it had barely settled before Blaine's words wiped it away.

"You were part of that awesome Thriller routine. That's why I remember you, you're a really good dancer."

Something in Dave's demeanor softened; his shoulders and his expression relaxing ever so slightly. Ah-ha. So that half-time show had meant something to him. But he was well practiced at stifling emotion, it seemed. He took a large step forward, looming over Blaine.

"Look pretty boy, what do you want from me? I don't like to be seen talking to faggots in public."

"Name's Blaine," he corrected. "I don't want anything. What do you want? We could talk about football. That one's a good brand. I bought one three years ago and it's still like new."

"You play football?" Dave laughed.

"I wanted to, but I didn't make the team." Blaine spread his hands sadly. "Too short I guess."

This was the moment that Dave should have shoved him and walked away. But he hesitated just a little too long. And in that hesitation, Blaine didn't lose eye contact. He smiled and kept his hands wide, as docile as he could be.

Cautiously, Dave responded to him. "It does help to have a size advantage. I guess your school is more selective; our team is a mess, full of skinny guys and a cripple."

"That's why it was even cooler when you won the championship game."

They regarded each other in silence.

"Hey, you know what? Here's my number," Blaine pulled out his phone. "Let's get together sometime, talk. I've got all our school's matches on my hard drive if you'd like to see what our team plays like."

Dave reluctantly handed his phone over. "That... could be cool. Just sports though. Don't try to suck my dick or something."

"I make it a rule not to." Blaine finished typing in his number and gave the phone back. "Unless someone asks politely."

Dave's face contorted, but Blaine didn't wait to see his full reaction. He turned sharply on his heel and sauntered out of the store, certain that Dave Karofsky was on his own path to redemption.

As he got in the car, he swung his pink sunglasses on and checked himself out in the rearview mirror.

"Damn," Blaine said to himself. "I am _so_ baller."

* * *

><p>"You're just so beautiful," Kurt murmured to Blaine. His hand was tangled in Blaine's hair, guiding his head up and down on the shaft. "I can't take my eyes off of you." Blaine wasn't in any position to talk, but he did moan, muffled against Sam's penis.<p>

"Say, Kurt, while you're down there..." Kurt flicked a glance up at Sam, who looked very pleased with himself.

"Wouldn't you like that, Mr. Evans?" He leaned his face close to the action. "Would it make you feel like a big man? Having two boys at once?"

"C'mon, Princess. You talk too much."

Kurt darted lower, taking one of Sam's balls in his mouth and sucking hard. Sam tilted his head back and groaned. Encouraged, Kurt licked and sucked for awhile more, but then went back to what he was really enjoying: the close up view of Blaine's sweaty face. He began kissing and licking at the corner of Blaine's mouth. Blaine lifted one of his hands from Sam's hips and wrapped it around Kurt, pulling him in closer.

Sam cried out, then said, "Why do you two have to be cute even now? Shouldn't this be about me?"

"It's always about us," Kurt said. Blaine pulled his mouth away, panting.

"Don't listen to him, he's just envious." Blaine licked the underside of his head. "Why don't you come for me, Sammy?"

Sam's hips bucked forward, his own hand coming down to press Blaine's mouth back down, and faster. Sensing the end was near, Kurt crawled back to the safety of the bed. After the first time had dried out his skin for a week, he was adamantly against getting hit in the face with protein spills. But he had to admit, it was fun watching it happen to Blaine. He felt a rush of heat course down his body as Sam came, half into Blaine's mouth and half across his cheek.

The first words Sam said after he caught his breath were, "Remember that movie, 'Something About Mary'? Where she used his come as hair gel?"

Blaine scowled as he wiped at his mouth. "Wherever you're going with that thought, don't."

"Hey, I just wanted to discuss the logistics of it-"

Nerds. Kurt hung his head in disgust. "Both of you, go clean up." He slapped as Blaine tried to kiss him with his face still coated. "Eww, no!"

"I feel unloved." He pouted all the way to the bathroom.

Sam made it back first. "So. I don't think Princess has come yet, has he?"

Kurt smiled demurely. "Not yet..."

Sam pulled Kurt into his lap and kissed him. His hands worked over Kurt's shirt, unbuttoning it and sliding it off of his skin. As his fingers grazed Kurt's body, goosebumps followed. Kurt watched his own chest rise and fall more rapidly as Sam traced patterns to the waistband of his pants. Shifting their weight back, Sam slipped Kurt's clothes off his hips. They fell to his ankles and Kurt tried to kick them off as gracefully as possible. Though, it seemed no matter how often he practiced this maneuver, he never stopped being awkward.

"That's a nice view."

"Blaine." Kurt felt his cheeks warm. Blaine smiled, eyes traveling down to where Sam was stroking Kurt gently.

Pressing his nose and lips into Kurt's ear, Sam said, "You want to put on a little show for him?"

Kurt nodded. Sam pulled him onto the bed, onto his knees. He bent down and took Kurt into his mouth. Kurt closed his eyes and let himself enjoy it. He had to give credit where it was due: Sam was awesome at this. He was energetic and used his tongue in creative ways. And all jokes aside, Sam did have a big mouth. Which is how he was able to take all off Kurt's cock deep into his throat without complaints. Sam moved his lips up and down over him, and Kurt dug his hands into Sam's hair and groaned.

He felt warm flesh against his side. Blaine had decided to press himself against Kurt, petting and kissing him.

"So beautiful," Blaine murmured. Kurt turned to kiss him, whining into his mouth as Sam became more aggressive. Blaine let out a soft growl and cupped his face, shifting so their bodies could be closer.

"Ow," Sam said. He sat up, contemplating. "You can't just roll on top of my head. How am I supposed to work under these conditions?"

"But. Kurt," Blaine gestured sadly. "Look at him. I can't not touch him."

"Okay, here's what were going to do. Blaine, take your pants off."

Blaine complied and Sam guided him by the hips until he was facing Kurt. Kurt looked down at their cocks, touching, and felt his body ache with arousal.

"Good," Sam said. He lay down and crawled over to them.

"What are you-" Kurt began, but cut himself off with a sharp gasp as Sam took both of their penises into his mouth at once. Blaine clutched on to his shoulders, his eyes rolling back in his head. That should have looked silly if Kurt was capable of thinking of anything other than the warm, wet sensation enveloping his cock.

"Shit," Blaine breathed. Kurt wrapped his arms around him, buried his face in Blaine's neck and sucked on his collarbone. They both cried out as Sam slipped his tongue between the shafts, flicking it back and forth as he moved his head.

"How are you doing this?" Kurt said, noting the shrillness of his own voice in some distant corner of his mind. Feeling how close he already was, Kurt scratched at Blaine's back in a desperate attempt to hold onto self-control.

"I love you, Kurt," Blaine mumbled, kissing him erratically. "But I think I'm going to come for Sam right now."

Sam sucked down, hard. Kurt bit his lip against an escaping groan. "Me too."

Kurt kissed Blaine full on the lips. Sam sped up his technique and both boys made faint little cries as they peaked, holding on to each for stability. Sam slowed, swallowing. Then he lifted away and sat back.

Kurt and Blaine lay back on the bed, catching their breath. When he was done seeing stars, Kurt could see Sam looking down at them shyly.

"You have a huge mouth," Kurt said.

"So I've heard."

"This is a very good thing," Kurt continued.

"A great thing." Blaine feebly lifted his hands in the air, using a sweeping hand gesture to mime a name in lights. "We should call it: the Sammy Evans Special."

Sam grinned. "It could be my secret weapon. My finishing combo, like in Mortal Kombat."

Kurt repressed a sigh of exasperation. He had no right to complain, but he hoped that maybe, over time, every sexual encounter wouldn't devolve into pop culture references.

* * *

><p>That wasn't going to happen any time soon.<p>

Given the secretive nature of their little arrangement, there was some concern that their mutual friends might start noticing something was up. So Sam, Kurt and Blaine had taken to meeting at the mall food court. The food was gross, but at least they could go shopping and nobody paid them much attention. It was almost as if they were just a normal group of friends.

Or maybe not so normal, Kurt thought as Sam pulled out his bag of dice.

"I'm not going to like this, am I?" Kurt moaned.

"This is going to be totally cool, shush." He tipped several translucent dice onto the table. At least, Kurt thought they were dice. They were really strangely shaped.

"Holy crap, are those _four_ sided die?" Blaine grabbed one and held it up. "They have letters on them."

"What the hell is a four sided die, and why do we need them?"

"I thought we could use them to spice up our dates. I custom painted them." Sam plucked the piece out of Blaine's hands, shook both of them and rolled. "Ok, so I rolled a B and an S. So Blaine gets to pick what Sam does to him."

"The Sammy Evans Special," Blaine answered without hesitation. "My dick ached for two days after that."

Kurt wasn't sure if he was experiencing horror or amusement. "Sex dice. You made personalized sex dice."

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Blaine gave it a try. "I got a K and a K. Wait, what does that mean?"

"It means the other two get to pick what Kurt has to do himself while we watch." Sam looked Kurt over. "I already have suggestions for that one."

"I don't know about this," Kurt sighed. "Julia Roberts never needed dice to keep the magic alive."

Blaine pounced on him. "Don't be negative," Blaine pleaded. "It's like sex homework. Hey!" Blaine reached in the bag and pulled out a ten-sided die "We can use this to decide how many minutes you spend on each activity."

"Or how many times someone gets off?" Kurt said, a little smile on his face now. He picked up one of the four-sided die, rolling it in his fingers. "One side is blank."

"Because we only have three of us. I figure that would be the other person's choice if it got rolled." Sam looked around. "Unless you know another gay guy who would want to be in on this."

Kurt exchanged a look with Blaine. His mouth suddenly ached, remembering a kiss not given.

"There is another," Blaine said carefully, rubbing Kurt's back, "but I don't think Kurt wants him anywhere near us."

"It's Karofsky," Kurt said. Sam's eyes widened. "All the shoving and the death threats, it's because he's in the closet. And supposedly if I told anyone he'd kill me."

"Holy crap." Sam sat back in his chair. "_There is another_. That is so fucking Star Wars."

Kurt stared through the table. Blaine's hand running down his spine was a reminder that those memories were only that, but he still felt a sting in his chest.

"So that's why he's such an asshole," Sam continued, not seeming to notice Kurt's discomfort. "But what if he did come out? Think of the benefits to our social lives at McKinley."

"Sam," Blaine warned.

"I'm just saying, what if I do a little reconnaissance, try to get him to open up?"

Kurt's stomach hurt. He couldn't stop Sam from doing whatever he wanted, but why? Why would anyone want to have sex with that sweaty, boorish jerk?

"Fine, but you're the guinea pig, not me." Kurt rubbed at his temples. "And don't tell him that we told you he was gay."

"No worries, boyfriends." Sam leaned back, his shirt lifting to show a sliver of his ab muscles. "I have ways of making him tell me himself."

* * *

><p><em>As always, you can message me here or at ridgelessridgeback . tumblr . com<em>


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